I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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