sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
