I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
