JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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