yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
