Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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