Can Purell be used as lube?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
