the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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