The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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