Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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