P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
