Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize