okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize