Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
