I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
