Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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