he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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