party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
