you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
