"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
try to milk me bitch
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
