New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
