Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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