It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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