my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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