I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
