Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
