Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We need to get me chipped asap
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
