Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Boobs are out for the taking
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
