You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize