Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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