So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
