I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize