well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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