Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
