Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
