The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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