HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
