Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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