it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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