Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can I color on your dick again?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
