somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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