Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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