i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
