Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
