**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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