when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
