youre lurking in front of me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
