So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
