Me too!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
