I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this boner is exhausting
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize