Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
