Sober January is a disaster.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
