he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize