Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
