did you get engaged???
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize