If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
