if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
