our cab driver is having phone sex.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
