I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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