what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
