So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
