escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
