I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I need to align my fucking chakras
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize