Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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