you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
