About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
