I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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