i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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